how burnout Creeps up on you!

Looking back now, I can see some of the signs had been there for months, perhaps even years. The problem was that they looked so much like my ADHD that I didn't recognise them as burnout. The brain fog, shorter & shorter fuse, frustration with not getting projects finished, lower and lower capacity, my ability to deal with people got lower and lower. This all added to a point where things build up and up! The ability to start gets more and more reduced!!  

It also came with the timing of actually learning about my ADHD with the expectation that suddenly when you are aware of these things they feel so much more - Giving me more fuel to just ignore that burnt out feeling. 

If you've landed here because you're wondering whether you're burnt out, overwhelmed or simply "not trying hard enough", I hope this article helps you feel a little less alone.

Burnout doesn't always arrive dramatically

It doesn’t have to be some massive shut down and completely falling apart, being unable to work, or get out of bed. 

I mean I have a dog that is going to pester me until she gets some breakfast - So I will be getting out of bed! 

During some burnout coaching, I was asked how long do you think you have been stressed for? What a simple question? Yet realistically I had no idea ….  “Can you think of the last time when you were not stressed?” – Now this is a point where my brain is going hmmmm not stressed ???

Well that would have been over 15 years ago since then I have just gone from one set of stressful situations to another! That set up when you think - yes this is the time for me - and here is another bomb for you to “handle” 

My burnout crept in quietly. I was still showing up to work. I was still trying to build my business. I was still managing a home. I was still carrying huge responsibilities. From the outside, I looked like I was coping. Inside, though, my available capacity was shrinking. 

I wasn't counting everything I was carrying or even aware of it! 

One of the biggest things burnout taught me is that we often underestimate our mental load. Especially if you run the house and do everything for yourself and family! 

For me, it wasn't one dramatic event.  It was the accumulation of lots of different demands. 

• Working unpredictable hours. 

• Building a business alongside employment. 

• Managing a home. Living through a major house renovation. 

• Constant decisions. 

• Life administration. 

• Planning.

• Problem solving for others 

• Remembering. 

• Trying to support everyone else while also trying to remember to support myself. 

• Being diagnosed with ADHD & the awareness that comes with 

• Other personal challenges were also taking up emotional space

• Complex situations that were out of my control

Sometimes we don't notice how heavy our backpack has become because we've been carrying it for so long.

Common signs of ADHD burnout in women

So what do I need to look for you now…. 

• Forgetting things you would normally remember

• Losing things constantly

• Walking into rooms and forgetting why

• Struggling to organise even familiar tasks

• Missing appointments, messages or deadlines

• Time blindness becoming much more noticeable

• Finding decisions almost impossible

• Needing far more reminders than usual

• Having a really short fuse!

You might think, “Why can’t I cope anymore? I used to manage all this.”

That change can be an important clue.  - Starting tasks becomes ridiculously difficult

The warning signs I completely missed

Looking back, these are the signs I wish I'd recognised earlier. 

• My transitions got longer. 

• Getting started became harder.

• Everything felt irritating. 

• Little things that I'd normally work around suddenly felt enormous. 

• My tolerance disappeared. 

• I wanted to change everything (although that wasn't particularly new) 

• Nothing quite felt right. 

People became harder. 

• My social battery became much shorter. 

• Groups felt especially draining. 

• I wanted more space and more quiet. 

• I cried far more easily. 

• My emotional resilience wasn't there anymore. 

• Things that I would normally have processed suddenly felt overwhelming. 

• Decision-making became exhausting. 

Instead of recognising that I might need rest, my brain started looking for external things to fix.